I am a bit older than most moms on the scene. I didn’t start having kids until my late twenties. Thirteen years later, I am still having kids while some of my friends are becoming grandparents! Go figure. I say that to say that I am old enough to remember what life was like before the Internet. Before social media. Before cell phones. When I first started driving, cell phones weren’t even really a thing and the World Wide Web did not even exist yet. But, once the Internet made its debut and flip phones were all the rage, every licensed teen made the same plea to their parents, “but I need a cell phone! What if I break down while driving?” And parents gave in. Some teens were given cell phones “for emergencies only!” Of course we know that was never the only time they were used.

Times are changing, obviously, so parents need to sit down and consider what is best for them and their family. My husband and I are old-fashioned so we held off getting cell phones for ourselves for a long time. And I mean a long time. Even though I had a cell phone temporarily during college because the family I nannied for wanted me to have one, when my husband and I married neither of us had one at the time. Then, we decided we would try to see how long we could go before getting a phone. We made it twelve years! We now have one and yes, it is easy to use and easy to be addicted. We need it for the ministry we are a part of right now because to be honest by not having one, it puts a lot of people out who depend on you and it is not fair to them (when they are used to reaching people by text, etc). We are still not on Facebook, but maybe that can be another post! Not being on Facebook annoys most people but it can be done. Not having a phone, speaking from experience, can be done but, like I said it really affects others in more ways than you might realize since they are so connected to their phones. When my husband would tell people that we didn’t have a phone they either didn’t believe us or didn’t understand and would try to text our landline or call to cancel plans while we were on the road. Basically, we would try to live an old-fashioned life but it would put others out so much because people’s lifestyles are so different these days. D

oes this mean I need to give my kids a cell phone at a young age so they can become acclimated to today’s culture? Absolutely not! The learning curve is so easy a two-year-old can navigate a phone so if you hold off I am sure they can figure out how to use one when they do end up getting one. My husband and I made a decision that we would not allow our kids to have cell phones while they live under our roof and that hasn’t changed now that I have a rising teen! Since we aren’t constantly updating Facebook and didn’t have cellphones for a majority of his life, it isn’t something he even wants. And in my opinion, it isn’t something he needs.

There are plenty of other ways to engage in tech-related activities in a way that I, the parent, can monitor. We allow our children limited computer time where they can be closely monitored. This might sound strict but to be honest, our kids don’t mind. My oldest son is a people-person and loves to be around others so even if there is no real conversation happening, he likes working on things while me or his dad is in the room with him, (such as listing things he’s selling on eBay or watching instructional or educational YouTube videos). You see, it’s not that I think that all tech is bad and we need get rid of it altogether. Instead, I feel the need to be aggressive about what is allowed in our home via the computer or devices. If our kids want to go be alone in their room, you will see them bringing a good, quality book or a bin of Legos with them, not a phone.

Personally, I do not see the good in handing a young child or teen a portal into the world in the guise of a cell phone. It is too dangerous. One of my favorite aspects of homeschooling is that I am there with my kids when they have questions. We then can explore the answers to the questions, Biblically. We can use the Internet as a tool as well, but what my hope is that my children would come to me first to find the answers and so far, they do. We have had many interesting theological discussions during lunch while other kids at school are checking their phones to see how many likes their most recent selfie received. I guess I am a firm believer that there are so many other things my kids could be doing, so why bother? I asked my kids the other day if there was anything that we haven’t let them do that they are really upset about and hope to do as soon as they move out of the house, (not letting them watch certain movies or read a certain book series for example). I was shocked when both of my older sons said, “no, not at all, there are so many other things to do, it really doesn’t matter!”

This  made me think. As a parent we are responsible to lead them down the right path and if a cell phone could be too much of a distraction then we need to be aggressive in making sure we keep them out of their hands. If so, they might thank us in the end.