When you have more than one child that you are homeschooling, unique challenges arise. I have heard the concern from other parents that they do not want their older child to have to be responsible for raising their other children. Which I completely agree with. Although I agree, I think that this can look different from family to family. Some parents may ask their older child to babysit the younger children while they run errands or go on a date. Some may pay their child for doing this. Some may not.
The best way to figure out what is best for your family is to look at what your goals are for your teen. Are there certain areas of responsibility that you are trying to teach him/her? If so, then it might be a good idea to “hire” your teen for a few hours a week to watch his/her younger siblings and then see how he/she manages his/her money. Does your teen get bored easily and revert to his/her devices often? Schedule in some sibling time so your child won’t graduate and miss out on enjoying their younger siblings! Sure, they may fight once in a while but if you give them a chance to be a true big brother/sister the mentor in them will shine through. If you assign a certain time that your older child reads a certain amount of books to each younger child, or plays with each child, this can create a certain bond. I’m not talking about asking your older child to actually become the parent and have to teach their siblings everything but to simply be a mentor. To guide them and be a friend for them.
If you choose to deliberately assign “sibling time” then it is important to give your teen his/her own special privileges. Maybe they are deliberately allowed to stay up later than the other siblings or have more free time to do what they want to do. Just as you schedule in time for them to establish quality relationships with their siblings, give them some freedoms of their own. You might be hesitant at first because you are concerned with who they are going to want to chat with or spend time with but if they have a strong family unit at home, they won’t be looking for love and acceptance out in other places. You want your teen to feel included, accepted, valued, and needed at home while still giving him/her his space. Home should be a safe place to go back to, not a place to run away from.
Constantly reinforce your appreciation of your teen with words. You might not realize how much he/she needs to hear how much you value him/her but he/she needs it just as much as your younger children, if not more. Nobody wants to feel like they are being taken advantage of and if your teen feels this way, they will want to get out of the house as often as possible and as soon as possible. Make sure your teen is rewarded for their efforts in a genuine way.
As your teen grows and matures you will begin to understand how to best meet your child’s needs; emotionally and spiritually. Don’t be afraid to use the teen years to train them in fear of what they might say or do, in the end it will be worth it!
