When my husband and I were first married we were blessed with some amazing parenting and marriage classes offered in our church. They were powerful, helpful, and extremely informative. One thing that they constantly mentioned, that I just couldn’t wrap my mind around was having a weekly or monthly date night. What? Weekly was out of the question and so was monthly! We had zero family in the area and we could only afford a babysitter two or three times a year! Then, after a decade or so of marriage, we realized how important these times were. So, basically, the ones teaching the class were right. So we started planning a monthly date night. Sometimes two. Of course a date doesn’t mean you have to go out all of the time, it could be a special meal when the kids are asleep. Still, it needs to be intentional and it should be planned. Once we started getting into a routine it did wonders for our marriage. Go figure!
Well, I have noticed it is the same with my kids. It may seem like it shouldn’t be hard to spend quality time with them since I am home with them all day but that is not the case. Days are filled with responsibilities, chores, taking care of bills and paperwork for my husband, and I even have a part-time job online. So yes, even though I am home all of the time, it does not mean I am spending quality time with the kids 24-7. Responsibilities aside, there are also so many things that can distract us. I laugh now when I think back to before I had kids when I went to a prayer meeting with several moms in my church. One mom prayed and prayed that God would help her not be distracted by the news on TV. Wow. So much has changed for moms since then. Then, moms would be distracted by the news that would come on during key hours of the day and soap operas in the afternoon. Now, at any time of the day, a mom can pick up her phone. Enough said. When I was on the mission field with my children I saw another missionary constantly on his phone. He paid little or no attention to his son and everyone in the ministry noticed it. When it came out what he was doing on his phone it was revealed that he was playing games. How unproductive! If this father could get to this point then I wonder if we as homeschool moms can too. I’m sure it doesn’t take long to spiral out of control and spend more time looking at our screen than with our kids. None of us want to admit that it could happen to us but it could and we need to be diligent to make sure that it does not happen.
How can we prevent this? Well, for one, we can make sure we carve out time for each child during the day. Even if it is just reading a book aloud with them, be intentional. As they get older, it is important to be intentional as I learned to be intentional with setting time aside to spend time with my husband. If you go shopping alone, consider taking one child with you and making that a special time. Try to plan a fun outing for each child. Even if it is only once a year, it will mean the world to them! Be intentional and they will notice what you are doing and look forward to spending time with you! What a relationship booster!
