You’ve probably heard the saying “Make do or do without” before. I have told my children this many times. I don’t tell them because I am mean and want them to do without stuff. But, I want them to realize that most of the things they are asking for is just “stuff”. It’s not important.
There are a few things I do to implement this kind of mentality in my children. It’s something that takes practice. We practice it so much that it becomes a habit to be content. Contentment is such a wonderful virtue to possess. No matter what your circumstances, you can have the joy of Jesus in your heart.
If my children are asking for a new Lego set, there are a few things we discuss first. Is it their birthday or Christmas? If not, they may not even ask for it because we very rarely purchase toys outside of one of those two days. I also walk them into their room and show them the plethora of Legos in their huge Lego bin. Usually they can make whatever it is they want out of what they have. They “make do”.
That is just a small example but you can use it for just about anything. If they ask for a certain DVD, you show them what they already have. Sometimes we choose not to purchase certain movies because they are not family-friendly. The child may not know that so we explain it to them. If it’s a movie we would really enjoy as a family, I plan a special family night and purchase the movie as a surprise. I don’t do it often so my children are elated by a new movie we can all enjoy together.
Sometimes we do without things though. Like if my children ask for a video game system. That is not happening. We have no video game systems and it is so freeing for us. We used to allow electronics but noticed behavioral issues. After taking the electronics for a long period of time, the behavior improved dramatically. So, we gave them back thinking they had learned a lesson from not having them. Nope. We took them back and…viola! The behavior has improved once more. This worked for OUR family. Do what’s best for yours.
Another way we instill an attitude of contentment is by serving in the community. Our church hosts the homeless one week during the winter. Our entire community of churches chooses one week. During our week, there are many opportunities to serve. You can make meals, serve meals, clean up, come have conversations, stay the night, etc. Seeing how little others have improves your attitude about what you do have. My children have realized many times how blessed they truly are.
Not getting that new Lego set or piece of candy won’t kill you or even hurt you. It will make you grateful for what you do have. This really does take practice though. The first time you tell a child no, it may not go well. Especially if they have never been told no to something. Talk to your children about making do with what they have. If you need to whittle down the toys in order to appreciate the ones you truly enjoy, do so. We do this three times a year. My kids enjoy doing it now. You get to see what they actually like playing with and what was a waste of money. Donate all the used toys to a charity. It will bless someone else.
This is kind of like when we ask God for something. He doesn’t grant wishes. He is our Lord and knows what’s best for us. Sometimes what we ask for or need, He graciously gives. Sometimes He has us wait (this is so hard for me). But, sometimes it is a flat out no. We know what’s best for our children because we pray and read the Bible in order to be better parents. God knows what’s best for us because He is God. He loves us more than anything. So, sometimes we have to make do with our situation or do without. We have to be content and have peace and joy no matter what.
