Over a year ago, I tucked an idea for an article into my drafts folder: Homeschooling the Difficult Child.
At the time, I was going through such a struggle homeschooling our Go To Daughter that I didn’t really feel I had anything worth while to say on the subject. I just knew that someday I wanted to write about it.
By the grace of God, my girl and I have come a long way. In fact, I changed the title because “difficult child” no longer seemed to fit. Are strong-willed children difficult? Undoubtedly they can be, but changing my perspective was half the battle. (You can read about that here.)
I am still on this journey of learning and growing as a mother. Some days (many days!) I feel like I am simply not cut out for this job of being a home educator! If you are struggling, realize that “pain” is a part of growth; you are growing and becoming what God wants you to be. You don’t have an easy job, dear Mama, but you are equipped!
For further encouragement, I have included helpful articles (either from this blog or other resources) with each of the following ten points. Simply click the links for more reading.
10 ideas to help you navigate the waters of homeschooling a “strong-willed” child.
- Embrace your child’s personality. A strong will is not necessarily a bad thing; learn to appreciate it!
- Determine who has a bad attitude … and make sure it isn’t you, Mama!
- Turn off the distractions. Half-hearted homeschooling will never result in whole-hearted learning or obedience from your child.
- Don’t be rigid, but do develop a workable schedule or routine for your homeschooling days and weeks. A strong-willed child will perceive a hit-and-miss homeschooling style as a prime opportunity to push boundaries.
- Consistency is a very vital part of homeschooling any child. If you are prone to inconsistency (like I am), focus on developing this trait in your life on a daily basis.
- Don’t just focus on discipline and reproof (when your child does wrong); train and shape your child by encouragement, instruction, and by giving him or her something to strive for.
- Embrace creativity and flexibility. Homeschooling is not just about academics. Don’t forget to give your child room to grow, explore, and make messes. 🙂 Lower your expectations, if need be, and give yourself a horizon higher than merely completing a school book by the end of the year.
- What is your child’s learning style? How can you enhance your child’s homeschooling experience by honing in on his or her strengths? My Go To girl balked at school work this year until I tweaked her lessons to better suite her learning style… that in itself eliminated most of our daily struggle.
- What is your child’s love language? Are you keeping his or her “love tank” full by meaningful expressions of love and acceptance?
- Is your child fussy and unhappy? Are you fussy and unhappy? Make joy “normal” in your home.
I thank God for finding your article. I plan to read your blog forward and backward! I have a super strong willed daughter.
To give you an idea…when she was little I used to set a timer for activities or time out. She would march herself up to the timer and turn the dial so she could get the advantage! We used to call her “Sargent”. She’s now middle school aged and it’s pretty tough! She’s like a little lawyer, and has an argument for everything. Homeschooling is super difficult, to say the least.
This is our second year homeschooling and sometimes we feel like giving up, but we press on and try our best to get along.
I spend a lot of time praying and asking God for direction, and yes, most of it is for ME to learn and grow as a mom and not to sweat the small stuff or take things to personal. I’ve tried to interject humor as much as possible and just get out of the house to break things up.
My heart goes out to any homeschool mom of an only child who happens to be “strong willed”. I wish there were more forums, and support groups, etc. for those of us in this situation.
Thanks again for your wonderful site and article 😉