I’d like to teach my kids that, for the most part, people are kind. They are nice. They are helpful. They genuinely care about you, your needs, and your interests. But the fact of the matter is this simply is not true. Of course we all wish it were true and we try to give people the benefit of the doubt but the reality is, everyone is born into sin. Everyone is born selfish. And even if they are in your church, your co-op, or your family, does not mean the people that you come into contact with will love you the way that you want to be loved.

I’d also like to tell my kids that if you follow God and all of His ways that nothing bad will happen to you. I mean, I don’t want to see them suffer. Can’t there be a magic formula that, if they tithe enough, repent enough, or serve enough homeless people meals then they will be guaranteed a cushy life with no bumps or bruises along the way? But I just can’t get past the verse, “in this world you will have trouble . . .” This means, the trouble will come. Of course if we finish that verse it says that the Lord will deliver us out of our troubles.The important thing is, we need to realize that our definition of deliver is not always the same as the Lord’s. Yes, he delivered Daniel out of the lion’s den and the three out of the fiery furnace but what about Steven? What about the other tens of thousands of Christians that have been martyred for Jesus? It looks different for everyone but it is still deliverance and it still comes from God.

It’s easy to give our children a canned answer and find a cute coloring page or crossword puzzle to go along with the theme that we are trying to teach them. We hand them a cute picture of Noah’s ark with a rainbow yet we leave out the gorey details of what a worldwide flood actually entailed. We decorate our homes with the cross, which honestly is no different than placing an image of an electric chair on our walls.

Let’s face it, children who grow up shielded from the realities of life will have a difficult time adjusting as an adult. As homeschooling families isn’t this a concern anyway? We want them to adjust well when they go off to college or start a job. We hope that they will have the backbone they need to stand up when the world around them seems like it is falling apart.

How do we prepare them? By teaching them to turn their pain into a ministry. A small, simple, unspoken ministry, mind you. But a ministry nonetheless. For example, if your child was sick for a long period of time or was out of commission due to a broken limb, encourage them to reach out and help those that are his age who are sick. Visit a children’s hospital or write cards to kids in the cancer ward of a local hospital. Has your child been bullied? Don’t sweep it under the rug but tell your child to reach out to the lonely girl on the playground or to invite the girl who is always left out at church events to your house one weekend.See how life has thrown them a curve ball and throw it right back out there into the world with a little bit of kindness added. Instead of allowing your child to dwell on the pain of their situation, help them to look at others who might be feeling the same feelings of pain. Rather than dwelling on their own pain, they can help relieve the pain of others.