In my experience, teens can be quirky characters. Always hungry, a little moody and unpredictable, and engagingly humorous when they want to be. But do these years have to be terrible?
We know about tantrums two and three-year-olds can throw. Some of these episodes have been likened to teens. Ever heard of the term “terrible teens”? This label, and worse, may leave you anxious about the future of your littles. Still, as a mom of four children, 1 adult, 2 teens, and 1 tween, I can assure you that these age stereotypes don’t have to come true.
There isn’t a specific predictor saying any child will have “a terrible age.” While we experienced some minor issues and tantrums with our littles, this did not necessarily translate into more significant problems down the road.
After experiencing different schooling atmospheres, I will say that it is a definite bonus to homeschool during this growth period. However, it is virtually impossible to stop all outside influences. So rather than running and hiding, make this the perfect opportunity to make sure communication lines are open if they are not already.
As teens go through this period of change, they begin to see the world differently. In processing this newness, they need a patient listening ear rather than a straight solution fix. Knowing that you will listen rather than jump to conclusions or fix things will help your child feel more comfortable and confident sharing with you. This is much better than sharing with the wrong people or, worse yet, holding it in.
My biggest shock while my kids were going through this stage was their need to talk at the oddest times. It always seemed they desperately needed to get something off their chest late at night or in the wee hours of the morning. It took some time to get over it and not shoo them off to bed. While I did have the desire to ask that they keep deep, meaningful conversation for “regular business hours,” I knew that I needed to attend to their needs. Who said only babies keep you up!
How do you open up these lines of communication? An excellent way to help open up the flow is to do things together and just allow a conversation to happen. Picking an activity your child likes is good. But you can also achieve a flow of dialogue while washing dishes, driving a distance, or going for walks. The key, though, is to listen! Listen patiently and attentively without over-prompting and questioning as these tactics usually backfire and lead to silence.
Even Christian homeschooled children are coming under peer pressure and condemnation for things that they feel or have said. As the parent, you may be their only safe person. Some topics may be challenging to hear, but your patient listening ear can do wonders! I remember quite a few of these “talks” doing a lot of listening, tongue biting, and then followed by prayer on my knees before the Lord. I put my feelings aside and let Him do the work. And being a faithful God, He always came through!
While you cannot predict how your child’s teen years will unfold, having an attentive, listening ear and a slow to react attitude, followed by lots of prayers, will help guide and possibly alleviate the “terrible teen” years.
Check out more homeschooling resources at Rainbow Resource Center!
