Emotional intelligence. I am sure you have heard of this term. The Cambridge Dictionary defines the term as the ability to understand the way people feel and react and to use this skill to make good judgments and to avoid or solve problems. Simply put, it is being able to notice, understand, and act on emotions in an effective way. Have you heard of the marshmallow experiment? Kids were given a marshmallow and told if they can wait just a minute until they return, the child can have two marshmallows. Kids that were able to wait showed better test scores and lower risk of substance abuse and obesity. Later, a longer study regarding cognitive or emotional control was performed in New Zealand with 1,000 kids. The cognitive control measured not only their ability to calm down after feeling upset, but also their ability to focus and stay on task. These children were tested in their grade school years and then followed up in their 30’s. As adults, the kids with positive cognitive control experienced better health and financial success. Being self-aware, showing empathy, and being a team player are abilities that show high cognitive and emotional control. When kids learn these skills as they grow into adulthood, they have a head start in successfully navigating life. What are some ways we can promote emotionally well-being as we continue this journey of parenthood?
Be aware of emotions
Allow your child to think through the emotions they are feeling. Even the happy emotions are important to share. With negative emotions, it’s important they can learn to calm themselves and problem solve some positive ways to settle down. Show them unconditional love and give them your full attention without giving in to bad behavior. When children learn to recognize their emotions and how to cope, they become more confident.
Play together
Children feel connected and loved when you take time out of your day and do things they enjoy. This is showing them you are interested in their world, and you begin to have open communication. Playing games allows them to practice taking turns and focus for a prolonged period. Children also love role playing different scenarios together, giving them coping strategies in dealing with emotions. Having fun and laughing together also builds healthy emotions.
Listen to your child
When your child feels heard, they are better able to get past their emotions and heal. Make yourself available to your child when they need to talk. By you accepting where your child is at, they can learn to do the same. Teach them to express themselves without attacking another person. Try to see things from their perspective and make sure they feel understood and listened to when sharing their thoughts and emotions.
Model empathy and teamwork
As homeschoolers, we are the primary example for our children. Allow children to see you use empathy in your daily life. This is the best way for them to learn empathy toward others. Also, promoting being a team with others instead of causing dissention will go a long way in teaching emotional maturity in your children. Let them see you practice these skills in your day-to-day encounters.
Read and discuss
When children read or you read together, children begin to understand what feelings and emotions are when they read about different characters and experiences. They develop an understanding of why things happen and recognize their own feelings. When you have a chance to discuss the circumstances in the book together, you begin to understand how your child feels for the characters and how they would respond to situations.
Applying these skills will hopefully manage stress and emotions in your household. Teaching kids to understand not only their emotions but the emotions of others creates empathy and self-awareness. This is well worth the effort and will be beneficial in every aspect of life. ~ Gina
