It’s hard to tell other no to certain activities or gatherings but sometimes it is necessary. I went through a season of my life where I didn’t want to miss out on anything. I didn’t want my children to miss out either. I wanted them to have every opportunity to do everything that presented itself. I quickly realized this was not healthy and my kids were not happy. I was so busy and stretched thin, I didn’t have time for my biggest responsibilities.

We don’t always have to say yes to every single thing that comes up. As homeschoolers, we have many opportunities presented to us. There are a million field trips, playdates, church events, co-op events, etc. If I said yes to everything, I would be completely worn out and my kids would be miserable (and a little spoiled). I have learned to set my priorities and keep to them. There are exceptions but most of the time I keep to them.

My priorities are as follows in order of importance:

  1. God- I have to give God the number one spot because He is what life’s all about. I love spending time with Him and learning from His word. When I don’t get in time with God, my day seems so off and I feel like something is missing. Beginning each day in His presence gives me comfort and helps me through the rest of the day.
  2. My husband- God designed the family and my husband is my biggest priority after God. Making sure my relationship is right with him and giving my husband the attention and love he needs is important to me. When my relationship isn’t right with him, nothing is right. My husband is my life partner and deserves the best I have to offer.
  3. My children- God blessed me with three little boys who deserve a mother who isn’t stressed and panicked and stretched thin. I want to give them a wonderful childhood full of loving memories but not at the expense of me feeling exhausted. They are all happy and healthy. They don’t need a lot in life but they do need a mommy who will love them and teach them about God.
  4. My home- I love being a homemaker. It’s become such a bad word in the past few years. I have worked outside of the home but staying home and being with my children is of utmost importance to my husband and I. It’s also important to God. I know many women who can’t stay home for various reasons but if at all possible, I highly recommend it. We don’t have much and we don’t go on fancy vacations but we do have time with each other. We do without a lot of things but God provides for us in many ways. I love the comfort of my home and the memories we make in it.

When an activity comes up and it interferes with any of my priorities, I say no. There are exceptions to this but not very often. I try to be there for friends and family and also keep my other duties as well. I don’t want to be known as the no lady, but saying no sometimes won’t hurt anyone or anything. You don’t have to do it all. There will be other opportunities that may fit into your life better. Take those.

There are rare things that come up and you must say yes, but for most things, you can say no and it will be okay. I know lots of people who have a real problem telling anyone no. I have seen their homes suffer, their children suffer, and their marriages suffer. Doesn’t mean it will happen to everyone, but I have witnessed it many times. I have tried to gently speak with them and some of them are receptive. Those are the ones that truly feel exhausted from it all. They just needed someone to tell them it’s okay to say no.

If you have a real issue with saying no to people, just try it one time to something that doesn’t matter. You may feel a huge weight lifted. I did when I first started putting my priorities in order. Your priorities will look totally different than mine. That’s okay. Just make a list and try to stick to it. God wants you to give your best to him and your family. Other things in life can wait.