My sweet boy, 4th born, asked me the other day, “Mommy, how old do you have to be to be a big kid?” This, just days before he turns 7 years old. I told him, “You have to be at least 8.” And as soon as the words flew out of my mouth, his sweet life flashed before my eyes: my rainbow baby, the health concerns he’s been through and what he’s overcome, his bright smile and his sense of humor. I thought, “Here we go again, I’ve been here before.”
There is much ebbing and flowing in parenting. And much like the shift between infant days and toddler years, there’s an I’m-getting-older shift, too. I see it in my son: the I can take care of things attitude, the wittiness because he actually understands the joke, increase in level of ability and skill, beginning to turn the corner on reason vs. imagination. This may occur at different ages for different children, but like I said, I’ve been here before with my 3 children before him, and if God says the same, I’ll see it again with the 3 children after him.
As I recall all his squishy baby days, all the neck cuddles, all the sleepless nights, all the times I held him or wore him in a wrap around the house, I must be careful. . . careful to embrace his growth as God’s will for his life and not wish for all the days gone by. Time passes so quickly and I try so diligently to record as much as I can (hence my blog and Instagram). As much as it tugs at my heart that his little boy days are beginning to slide into his older boy days, I know more blessings await.
The older children have taught me the beautiful combination of laboring and harvesting years. When they were little, there was a lot of time spent laying foundations, lots of seeds planted, lots of watering and weeding. But those three, who are now 15, 13, and 11, have shown me some good, ripe fruit for the labor. And there is still more laboring yet to do, but what a blessing their lives are! Not only are the cute little baby days a gift from God, but these teenagery days have been a delight as well.
What a thought: I delight in my teenagers! Counter-cultural? Yes. Gift from God? Absolutely!
They are like a new set of friends, talking with me for hours on end about everything imaginable. They share new experiences with me, have supported me through some very sad days, give me random hugs just because, and let me tell you, the laughter, the singing, the dancing–just a gift. Then there are their thoughts on life, about the world, about their Faith, about others; these are when I feel the most grateful, to hear that their perspectives are God-fearing.
Now, lest you be hoodwinked into thinking that I think my children are perfect, I’d be the first to say, that is not the case. Again, more watering and weeding with lots of prayer. But what I am saying is that the older years are a delight as well. They present us with new challenges and unknowns for sure. However, I reject the notion that somehow because my child is in double digits or has “teen” in their age that they are no longer enjoyable or that this gives them the license to behave unruly. God’s Word is true, children are an inheritance and reward from the Lord, and are to be trained in the ways of righteousness, with the expectation of obedience, regardless of age. {Psalm 127:3-5; Proverbs 22:6, 6:20-21; Ephesians 6:1-3} These blessings and responsibilities apply to teens, too!
So, if you see me somewhere, smiling through my tears, it’s because there’s a shift happening and I’m so blessed to be a part of it.
