Those who know me, know I am a strong advocate for homeschooling. As a parent, it is all I know. It is all I have done. My children know no other way. As a public schooler gone homeschooling mom, it is easy to get carried away with the excitement of it all. When I grew up, all I knew was the traditional public school method. Private schools were for rich folk and homeschooling was for religious weird-o’s. I never gave much thought to either. Public school was how I was raised and the only way to go as far as I was concerned. Enter the college years. Here is where I was truly introduced to the fruit of the homeschooled student. The homeschooled kids that I met in college were well-rounded, educated, witty and enjoyable to be around.
Once I was exposed to the idea, I was amazed that there was, “another way.” I was so starstruck by the concept that I was determined to do it when I got married and had kids. I married a man who felt the same and have never looked back.
Even though I am an “all in,” homeschooling mom, I am still aware of where I came from and what brought me here. This has been my journey and I tend to surround myself with others who are on the same journey. Friends, families and strangers that I come into contact with on a daily basis most likely are not on that same journey. I am perfectly fine with that. My hope is, that it can come across to others that I am not judging their choices. I hope they can understand that simply because I homeschool, does not mean I am saying the following to them:
1- Your Educational Choice is wrong.
As soon as I mention that I homeschool in a non-homeschooling crowd, defenses go up. Many people, even complete strangers, feel the need to explain, in detail, why they do not homeschool. I wish the response would be different. I wish they would not be threatened by the fact that I homeschool. If they have chosen another educational route then that is there decision. Not mine. Homeschooling is hard but I understand that having kids in public or private schools are hard too. What if you work and your child has a snow day? Or your kid gets sick? There are struggles in every choice and if I can relay that empathy to others, the defenses tend to be let down a bit.
2- Public schools are terrible.
Just because I do not send my kids to public school does not mean others can know the reasons why. The fact that I do not send my kids there is not because I am rebelling against them. I homeschool because I believe that is what I am supposed to do. Not sending my kids to public school is simply a by-product of that decision, not the reason for it.
3- There are no Christian teachers in the public school system.
The fact that I homeschool does not mean I do not believe that Christians should not enter the workforce as teachers and be a light to the children there. Many people that I know have had an opportunity to be used by God in this way and I believe that God’s hand was in it. Everyone has their place. Everyone has their calling. If Moses were to build an ark it would have been pointless. If Abraham went to Nineveh and told everyone to repent it would have been useless. Everyone must walk in their own calling whether it is to be a teacher or a home educator or something entirely different.
4- I do not trust my kids with anyone else.
If someone were to truly know me then they would know that it is not true. These accusations have come to me from those who do not know me very well. My thought is that they have run into homeschoolers in the past who had this problem so they assume all homeschoolers are like this. This could not be further from the truth. My kids have attended camps, music lessons, co-ops, Tae Kwon Do, and other extracurricular activities where I was not present. Sometimes when people accuse you of things, you need to consider that they may have had bad experiences with homeschooling in the past. Instead of letting this frustrate you, be a positive homeschooling example to them. Maybe God has put you in their path for a reason.
5- I am patient.
The Bible says that we need to LET patience have her perfect work in us (James 1:4). Meaning, we are not born with it. Nobody is born patient. We are born sinners and need to be molded by the Lord into his likeness. This is something everyone has to work at.
6- I love my kids more than those who do not homeschool.
Some parents wish they could homeschool but for financial or other reasons, they cannot. I have friends who would love to homeschool but their husbands are dead set against it. Sometimes these moms feel like we think we are better than them because we spend more time with our kids than they do. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, I am thankful for the time I have with my kids but I am fully aware that working moms make the most of the time they do have with their kids and wish they had more time.
As homeschooling parents it is important to make others feel comfortable when we talk about our educational choices.
What are some ways you approach this topic with non-homeschoolers?
