Ever given your child a simple job like “Clean your room” or “Go get your math done,” and they respond as if you just asked them to climb Mt. Everest? Whether there’s an immediate meltdown, or you find them an hour later, totally distracted and the task undone, it can feel like “pulling teeth” to get anything accomplished. Sound familiar? Many kids (and adults!) today struggle with weak executive functioning skills, making it difficult to get organized, stay focused, and even know where to begin a task. The good news is that you can help them develop these skills, starting with one important strategy: teaching them to break big tasks down into manageable steps.
For kids who struggle with executive functioning, breaking down tasks isn’t second nature. It’s like asking them to bake a cake without showing them the recipe! They need help learning how to see a big job—like cleaning their room—as a series of small, doable steps. Here’s how you can train them to tackle tasks without feeling overwhelmed.
Break It Down, Step by Step
The next time you give your child a job like “clean your room,” help them break it down into smaller parts. Instead of one giant task, make a list of specific steps. For example, “clean your room” could become:
- Put dirty clothes in the hamper.
- Pick up LEGO bricks and put them away.
- Clean off the dresser.
- Vacuum the floor.
These smaller, bite-sized tasks are much easier to manage and feel less overwhelming. Plus, each small success gives a little dopamine boost (the brain’s “feel-good” chemical), which motivates kids to keep going.
Use Visual Aids
The brain can simplify and process complex information much easier with visual aids! These kids need to clearly see their steps and progress. A great trick is to use sticky notes on a whiteboard. Write each step on a separate sticky note and put them on one side of the board under “To Do.” As they complete each task, they can move the note over to the “Done” side. This gives a concrete sense of accomplishment and keeps them on track without needing constant reminders from you. For older kids, a simple list with boxes to check off might suffice.
Spread Out Tasks
Not everything has to be done all at once. If a list of 4 things feels like too much, spread the tasks out over the day, or even multiple days. Short exercise breaks in between tasks can reduce stress, giving the brain and body a boost. The goal is for them to start seeing that big jobs are just made up of smaller ones, which can be spaced out and completed in chunks.
Celebrate Progress
Building this skill takes time and practice. Celebrate each small victory, even if it’s just moving one sticky note over! In time, they’ll begin to develop the mental process of breaking down tasks and planning out steps by themselves. One day, it will start to “click”! And who knows, all that practice could someday land them a career in project management!
Training your child to break tasks down is giving them a key tool for success, not just for getting that room clean, but for academics and really all of life. ~ Nancie
