Taking My Boys on a “Date”

I am a “boymom”. That means I have only boy children. I never expected to be a boymom. I am probably the most girly girl ever but God has a great sense of humor. He has taught me to embrace this life of mine head on.

As the mom to three boys, I want to teach them how to do all kinds of things including grocery shop on a budget. Boys can be rough and silly and physical. Each Saturday, I have a “date” with one of my sons at a time. They take turns (and believe me, they keep track of whose turn it is). We don’t do much but it’s one-on-one time with me and it gives them a chance to be an individual instead of “the boys”.

Our time together isn’t very long, maybe an hour, but it is time well spent. During the car drive, I ask them if they want to ride in silence, talk, or listen to Christian music. It’s funny because I have one who loves the quiet (we don’t get that very often in my house), one who likes to chat the whole time, and one who likes to listen to music. I have learned their unique style because of these Saturday morning dates.

If they want to talk, I let them choose the subject. It’s usually about Star Wars or swimming or the dead deer we just drove past. Yup, I am a boymom. Haha! Sometimes I ask questions about their likes and dislikes. For instance, I will ask them what their favorite thing about the previous week was. Or, what they would like to do in the coming week. I will tell them of plans we may have and get them excited. Sometimes we talk about hard things like tough friendships, fighting with a brother, or a hard subject in school. I have gleaned so much about their hearts from these little tidbits of information.

Oh, did I mention that our Saturday morning dates consist of grocery shopping? You wouldn’t think they would be excited about grocery shopping, but they all love it. They get to push the cart (or ride in it). They also get to pick one special thing for coming with me. They each have different likes for this as well. One son always picks a box of poptarts. We rarely buy them so they are a special treat. Another son always gets a pack of gum. The last one gets M&Ms. The only stipulation to their special treat is, they have to share it with their brothers. They do so willingly most of the time.

As we grocery shop, we continue to talk about life and love and friendships and God. It is truly a blessing to hear them talk about things they normally don’t get to talk about. As we shop, they get to grab things from the shelves and put them in the cart. I am teaching them how to load the cart so nothing gets squished or broken. They are also learning how to budget for a family. We are a one income family, so our grocery budget is probably a lot less than most people. But, we make do or do without. We never go hungry and always have plenty for company. My boys are learning how to meal plan and shop on a budget.

We also like to go through the line at the grocery store where you scan your own groceries and bag them yourself. I bring reusable bags and my boys scan the items. They are learning how to load the bags properly. They love this part because they feel like they work at the grocery store. Ha! They even help me pay for the groceries and grab the receipt. They are such gentlemen.

My boys love to load the car when we get the groceries outside and they help unload at home. I have a chronic pain condition and can’t lift very much so this is especially helpful to me. My husband helps too but the boys do most of the work since there are three of them.

Before we head home, I make one more stop…at Chick-fil-A. We grab a biscuit, potatoes, and sweet tea to share. This has become such a treat. It’s a little way of giving my boys a prize for being so helpful and kind. I enjoy this part too!!

I have told you all of this to give you some insight into how I am raising my boys. Having one-on-one time with each of them doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive (groceries aside). A simple trip to the store and then a $5 meal from CFA does wonders for my boys. They look forward to it and have even helped more around the house. Their attitudes have changed towards helping me as they see how much I really do.