As a homeschooler, I have been asked way more times than I care to count how my kids get socialization. After all, public school kids are very socialized sitting at their desks several hours a day being told not to socialize. It is a ridiculous question but I have learned that people ask it because it’s all they know to ask. They want to know what us homeschoolers are really up to.
Some people think we are weird and keep our kids at home 24/7 and never let them leave. They think we brainwash them into being little religious robots with no thoughts of their own. On the other hand, some people think we “free range” and never watch our children. They believe we let kids do whatever they want and never crack any books open to actually learn.
We are neither of those things. We leave our house often (not every day but several times a week). We are involved in an amazing co-op and go on about 25 field trips each school year. We go to church and are involved in Awana. We have many homeschool friends and have play dates with them a few times a month. My children also go with me to the grocery store, doctor’s office, post office, clothes shopping, etc. They interact with people of all ages almost every day.
The socialization question comes from people who have no knowledge of what actually goes on in a typical homeschool. Now, there are some homeschoolers out there who do not follow the laws and abuse their children. But, there are public school parents who do this as well. These people do not represent the majority of parents. They are rare and sad cases.
In a typical week, homeschoolers interact with people of all ages. When I take my children to the store with me, they will speak to the cashier, stocker, elderly woman behind us in line, another child. Their social skills are beyond anything I had as a child. I do have one who is very shy. He will speak but doesn’t say much. He is only five years old and has a lot to learn yet. But, my older two boys will carry on a conversation with anyone anywhere. It’s very sweet and most people are shocked to see my children speaking and not ignoring.
We also go to many places and play with friends or meet new people. We recently went to our historic downtown area and saw a teenage girl from our homeschool group. My boys could not remember her name but she remembered them. They all spoke to each other and talked about the co-op. She is a volunteer so she let the boys help her with some weaving. It was nice to see them not shy away from her because she is a teenager.
My dearest friend (who also homeschools) has seven children ranging in age from two to 18. When we first met her and started hanging out about three years ago, my boys loved that she had teenage boys. They asked them questions and interacted with them as though they were their own age. Her older kids play with the younger ones and with my children.
So, the whole “homeschoolers aren’t socialized” rhetoric is not really true at all for 99% of homeschoolers. Sure there will be a shy child here or there. There may also be extreme situations with abuse involved. But, we are not unsocialized. We can speak to anyone of any age and carry on a conversation. My children have shown me how to look beyond age and see the beauty in speaking with younger people and older people. We’ve met some incredible people just by saying hello and being friendly.
