Today, I wanted to share with you my Top 5 Ways to Ensure That Your Homeschooled Kid is Weird and Unsocialized because everybody knows that homeschoolers are, in fact, weird and unsocialized.

The problem is, I’ve met lots of homeschooled kids and it’s obvious that we’re falling down on our jobs, people! These kids I’ve met are perfectly normal and completely socialized! It’s time we get busy and rectify this situation before a few slackers sully the reputation of homeschoolers everywhere. So here are the top five ways you can get your kids back on the right path to becoming proper homeschoolers:

1. Quit letting them be around all those people. For crying out loud! If you’re forever taking them to music class, homeschool P.E., 4-H Club, co-op, ballet class, Lego Club, Chess Club, art class, and all those crazy sports activities how in the world do you expect them to grow up to be unsocialized? Keep those homeschoolers isolated!

Every time you take them with you to the grocery store, the doctor’s office, the art museum, those fast-food places with playgrounds where other kids are playing, or, heaven forbid, an outdoor playground or the movie theater, a play, or a concert — and let’s don’t even talk about the mall — they are observing and participating in human social behaviors. What are you thinking, homeschool mom?

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