Us moms, we are different from our husbands in many ways, as it should be. Different tones of voice, different in stature, different in our mannerisms…..we bring different dynamics to the atmosphere of the home.
So, it should be no surprise that our husbands’ teaching and parenting styles are different from our own. But somehow, we are still surprised.
In my own marriage, I’ve learned to embrace my husband’s way with our children, rather than criticize him at every turn. Nope, his style is not mine, and nope, I probably won’t ever bear hug our children down to the floor, while tickling them mercilessly, only to have them come back asking for more. Not quite my style. But one thing is for sure:
God chose him to be the father of our children and equipped him to fulfill that task. I have to let him live that out before God, without badgering him to do it my way.
Another thing I’ve learned is that, whatever is dear to my husband, chances are he will use it as a means to teach the kids. Some husbands are number-crunchers, others hunt or fish. Some husbands build things while others play guitar. Whatever it is, it is likely your husband will use it to get his point across.
My husband is a former college football player, with a coaching minor. His teaching tool: sports, athletics, fitness, physical activity….however you’d like to phrase it. Now, although I knew this about him before we were married, and cheered for him to score in several football games, I didn’t really know until after marriage.
I had no idea that he ran miles per day or did that many push ups and sit ups at a time. I’d never heard of a 3-count jumping jack or ever exercised until my stomach hurt. My husband would seek out tracks, fields, and stadium stairs for running and training. After his football days were over. He still does. So.not.me. My idea of fitness is to do an aerobics video or spend 20-30 minutes on the elliptical. Yeah, big difference.
So, when we had children, naturally for him, he would share this with them. Initially for me, it seemed foreign, awkward, and made no sense at all. But over the years, I’ve come to realize how much wisdom my husband is sharing with our kids, while they’re sweating and running in an open field.
They’re learning specific sports skills and how to keep physically fit, but they are learning so much more. Hard work. Dedication. Pushing through the pain. How to fall and get back up. Confidence. Mental is greater than physical. Progress. Patience. Grit. sDetermination. Teamwork. Don’t quit. Togetherness. Encouragement. Loyalty.
I’ve listened as my husband has connected what he’s teaching them with what they have to face in life. Sports skills become life skills, how worthy things take commitment and time, that consistent work must be done. Don’t give up at the first sign of adversity, but keep the end goal in mind.
Maybe I’ve learned a few things myself.
Trust your husband, even if it is the opposite of the way you do it. God gave children fathers for a reason.
What are the way your husband teaches? Does he use a hobby or skill to do it? Comment below!